“I love Nicki Minaj, I told her, Iâ€™d admit it,/Â I hope one day we get married, just to say we fucking did it,/Â And girl Iâ€™m fucking serious Iâ€™m with it if you with it,/Â Cause your verses turn me on, and your pants are mighty fitted” -Drake “Miss Me“
The subject of music is completely different from any of the other issues we’ve discussed here so far. In all the other subjects, men may disagree about which movies or video games or the best, but they will almost universally respect you for your knowledge of any “guy” movie or video game, because its generally accepted that certain movies and games are most liked among men. Not so with music. Across the world of men, there is a lot of disagreement over which artists and which style of music is the best. Each man tends to see his personal music preference as a reflection of himself, and might strongly disagree with you if you say you like another form of music. So, there is no cure-all method for winning the hearts of men with one single strategy. Instead, each guy has to be won over on an individual basis.
Lesson 4: Music
1. As Drake showed in his quote, men like women who identify with their brand of music. He respects Nicki Minaj, because, as a rapper, he loves her lyrics and songs. Undoubtedly, he doesn’t feel the same way about, say, Hayley Williams from Paramore, because he doesn’t like her music as much. All guys are like this to some degree. They’ll like a girl more if she identifies with their personal music taste. My advice: know about a wide range of musicians and their songs, from Busta Rhymes, to Avenged Sevenfold, to Jack Johnson. Then, when talking to a guy, wait for him to lay his cards out, and then pounce by relating to his personal likings. The worst possible approach is to commit to a specific genre right off the bat, because the guy you’re talking to might not be a fan, and judge you for it. For example, if you start talking about Disturbed to a hip-hop fan, he might write you off as a metal/goth chick. Or if you rave about T.I. to a metal fan, he might think you only like commercial rap, and never give you a second chance. So be patient, my friends. Wait until your prey exposes his weakness, and then strike with ferocious agility.
2. Luckily, when it comes to the topic of music, guys are especially willing to meet you halfway. Some guys actually do like Taylor Swift (I have little respect for such men), but most of us tend to listen to traditional “girl music” to please women. After all, how many times have you heard “Party in the U.S.A.” or “Teenage Dream” played at a frat party? I personally know all the words to “Every Time We Touch” by Cascada, and “Tearin’ Up My Heart” by N*Sync (which makes me a hypocrite for hating on Tay-Tay Swift, I guess). So that makes things easier for you gals. As long as so know some “guy music,” you’ll easily be able to find loads of common ground with any guy you come across.
3. That said, Â just because guys know stereotypically “girl-esque” songs, that doesn’t mean they necessarily like them. For example, not many guys actually listen to the Backstreet Boys when we’re alone in our rooms (I’ve only done that a couple of times). So, if the guy you’re talking to claims to love Lady Gaga, don’t fall for it. He’s probably just saying that to impress you. Try to dig deeper and figure out what his actual music tastes are. Then once you’ve figured out the truth, you can utterly astound him by playing ball on his turf, so to speak. After all, all guys expect girls to ramble on about Katy Perry, but if you mention to a Chris Cornell fan that you think his best work was with Soundgarden, not Audioslave, you’re bound to rack up some major points.
4. Even though some of us are exclusively hip-hop or hard rock fans, there are still a lot of guys with eclectic music tastes out there. I myself have everything from Muse, to Nirvana, to the Gorillaz, to NaS on my iTunes. I believe there are a lot of guys like me out there that have incredibly varied tastes in music. Be on the lookout for people like that, because we’re easy to please. If you reference any random song, album, or artist, you’re sure to mention something one of us likes.
5. Speaking of song, album, and artist, I have one final warning. The subject of music is a huge one, which requires an in-depth knowledge of certain areas. Gone are the days when you could memorize a couple facts and expect them to last you an entire conversation. After all, if you say Jay-Z is your favorite rapper, and “99 Problems” comes on, and you don’t know the song, you’ve just made a fool of yourself. In the same way, if you claim to be aÂ huge Radiohead fan, and someone asks you what you think of In Rainbows, you better damn well have an answer, or else your credibility is shot. So you have to know a good deal about specific groups and artists in order to make it in this game. It might be tough to know about a lot of artists, as well as individual facts about them, but I have faith in you guys. You can do it.
Photos courtesy of Thewrap.com and Ladygagaworld.com